


1 Host, 1 Free Pass and 8 Parasites

by carrot_tsunderima_1011



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Crack, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:01:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28419525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrot_tsunderima_1011/pseuds/carrot_tsunderima_1011
Summary: Kagami's the host. He's given out 1 free pass, and all of a sudden there's 8 parasites latching onto him.OR10 boys using 1 Netflix account.
Kudos: 24





	1 Host, 1 Free Pass and 8 Parasites

**Author's Note:**

> It's just something that comes to me in the middle of the night. I'm not entirely sure if Netflix really work this way, so I'm sorry if it doesn't, but let's just pretend that it does, shall we?
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!

i. The Host: Kagami Taiga

So it all started when one Kagami Taiga wanted to own a Netflix account, so in blurry sleepiness, he pressed the wrong button and ended up buying Netflix Premium instead of the basic one. Why he purchased it while in the state of being half-asleep, he did not know. He vaguely remembered that he couldn’t translate the Japanese site to English because reading hiragana and kanji is way too hard for him. And by the next morning, he received an email from Netflix about successfully being a regretful owner of a ¥1960 Netflix Premium account. 

He shrugged off the reckless purchase rather quickly; he can finally start watching the vast varieties of movies and TV shows. (Not that he’ll tell people what he’s watching though, because he knows that his friends will definitely laugh their asses off when they see the chick-flicks and Disney movies he has already ‘My List’ed.) At least he got to watch Friends and Teen Wolf. He’s been waiting for ages to see that thing.

ii. The Free Pass: Himuro Tatsuya

Not wanting to waste any money, though technically he already did, Kagami called up Himuro Tatsuya and offered him a free use of one of the other vacant accounts, who had been practically begging for one for the longest time. He had been chewing his ear off by talking about wanting to watch those thrillers and horror series. So after 3 days of buying the account, two teenage boys were sharing it, though Kagami had some last-minute doubt in offering access to the account to Himuro since he just wouldn’t stop mocking him.

“I mean I know you're like, really rich and really clumsy, but even I don’t expect you to go and buy a premium account.” The raven-haired boy had said over the phone.

“Dude! Shut up or you won’t get the account.” He had grumbled back.

“Fine, fine. You’re still an idiot though.”

“Oi!”

“... I’m still telling Alex though.”

“If you talk so much, you might as well borrow the account from her and not me.”

iii. Parasite No. 1: Kuroko Tetsuya

And after a week of experiencing pure bliss from enjoying the streaming service, Kuroko Tetsuya suddenly bombed him with weird questions when they were out having lunch at Maji Burger after their morning practice. 

“Kagami-kun, what's your favorite color?”

“Uh, black.”

“What is your favourite food?”

“Cheeseburgers.”

“Who’s your favourite actor?”

“I don’t have one.”

“What’s your -- ”

“Kuroko, what’s with all these weird questions?”

“Nothing. I just want to get to know you better. I know nothing about you.”

“What are you-”

“No. Just answer my question, Kagami-kun. What’s your favourite sport? Wait. Why did I even ask. It’s basketball.”

“Kagami-kun, who’s your favourite basketball player?”

“Michael Jordan.”

Kagami knew that his best friend was onto something suspicious. Who the hell asks someone about their favourite things all of a sudden? But he was too hungry to care. It’s not like he’s going to choke anyways. 

But of course he did choke, being the unlucky and unfortunate idiot he is.

“Kagami-kun, can I have access to your Netflix account?”

“No.”

“But I already have your email password.”

He almost spat out half his burger.

“What? Why do you have it?”

“You answered it just now. I asked you what your favourite NBA team is. You said it was the Chicago Bulls. It turned out to be the password.”

“So all this time you were asking these stupid questions, it was to guess my password?”

“Yes.”

“Asshole.”

“So can I use the account?”

“You already have access. Why did you even bother asking me?”

“I thought it would be more polite.”

“Repeat that again, Kuroko. Everything sounds so wrong with that statement.”

So because his best friend hacked his account, Kagami begrudgingly gave him access to one of the three remaining vacant spots. Kagami always tries to catch whatever he is watching, but he never succeeds, although he strongly suspects that Kuroko is watching Tiger King or something weird.

iv. Parasite No. 2: Aomine Daiki

Two weeks after the previous incident, came a messy bet that Kagami wanted to forget for the rest of his life in the form of one Aomine Daiki and a lot of teriyaki burgers. Surprisingly, the bet did not include basketball, considering the fact that both teens were absolute basketball idiots. The uncanny pair of friends had just finished playing an impromptu one-on-one, and as usual, they headed to Maji Burger. Aomine, feeling just a tiny bit sulky since Kagami had beaten him by one point just now, was feeling extra competitive and suggested a bet.

“Hey, let’s bet on something.”

“What? Why all of a sudden?”

“Nothing. I just want to.”

“God, you’re so childish sometimes.” 

But even if he said that, he meant otherwise.

“Fine. What do you want to bet?”

“Teriyaki burgers. The one who eats the most teriyaki burgers wins.”

“You’re competing with me in eating?” The redhead scoffed mockingly. “Sure. Prepare to lose. What’s in it for me?”

“If you win, I will let you use my Xbox whenever you want. If I win though, I get access to your Netflix account.”

“Game on.”

And so with the horrified faces from other customers and the staff in the restaurant, the two boys gobbled down as many burgers as they could, and to Kagami’s own shock, Aomine managed to eat half a burger more than him.

And all Aomine talks about now is how many times he has rewatched Baywatch and the Hangover.

v. Parasite No. 3: Kise Ryouta

News seems to travel fast, because ever since Kuroko got a hold of his account, Kise Ryouta has been bugging Kagami about getting a share of his Netflix. First it was in forms of countless texts. 

“Kagamicchiiii! Can I use your Netflix account!!!!”

“PLEASE!!!”

“KAGAMICCHI!”

“NETFLIX PLEASEEEEEEEE”

Kagami’s phone kept beeping that he thought his phone went bollocks. Turned out it was the blonde sending him messages after messages. He had wanted to block his number, but didn’t find the heart to do so, so instead he muted him and blocked all notifications from him. It didn’t work out as well as he had thought though. The spams slowed down his phone.

Until one day it finally stopped and Kagami thought the spell was broken. Then it came in the form of calls which frankly was even more annoying than the texts he got. It got to the point where Kagami wanted to change his phone number. Either that or buy a burner phone.

“Kagamicchi! I keep texting you but you never text back!”

“... I’ve muted you, Kise.”

“What? Why?”

“Because of this! You are annoying as hell!”

“So mean, Kagamicchi! I just want to use your Netflix account. Please? Pretty please? With a cherry on top?”

“What are you, eight? And besides, you should be smart enough to take the hint after me ignoring you for so many times.”

“But I-”

Kagami hung up. Kise was persistent, so he kept calling, and he decided to mix in a little texting as well, and finally Kagami broke. Kuroko said that he had indeed gone mad.

“Fine! Whatever! Take the account! Just stop bothering me already!”

“Yayyy! Kagamicchi is the best!”

It honestly is no surprise that Kise would watch shows like Keeping Up with the Kardashians or RuPaul’s Drag Race.

vi. Parasite No. 4: Momoi Satsuki

Momoi Satsuki is a smart girl, both book smart and street smart, and she knows that boobs, especially big boobs, can fluster almost any men, straight or gay. Lucky for her, she has big boobs. 

One particular day when Aomine was supposed to be playing basketball with Kagami, Momoi tagged along too. The boys were taking a break from their one-on-ones when the pink-haired girl stepped in, pressing her boobs up onto Kagami’s front. Aomine smirked as Kagami’s face turned redder than it already was and almost lost his balance.

“M-Momoi, what are you doing?” He managed to stutter.

“I want to ask Kagamin for access to his Netflix account.” She said with her usual bubbly voice, however not forgetting to bat her eyelashes a little as she pressured in a bit more. 

“S-sure… I guess?”

“Thank you, Kagamin!” She squealed as she threw her arms around him, not seeming to care about the sticky sweat.

She started using the account with Aomine, and Kagami was starting to get used to the complaints by the tanned boy about her animes disrupting his list, but it stopped one day. Apparently Momoi also got him hooked onto watching Citrus.

vii. Parasite No. 5: Akashi Seijuurou

Never in a million years would Kagami think that Akashi Seijuurou would ask him to borrow something, specifically his Netflix account. Like Kise, he had also sent out his request through text, although in a much more neat and polite way. Yet it still had that demanding Akashi aura. He couldn’t refuse, can he?

The first thought Kagami had when he received the text was why on earth does he need to ask him? That boy is rich. Hell, he can purchase Netflix if he wants to. Can’t he just go buy himself his own account?

Kagami then swore it was either telepathy or some sort of black magic, because Akashi answered his questions.

“My father does not approve of such means of entertainment, and has banned the purchase of my own Netflix account.”

“Moreover, I am feeling bored lately. Popular shows like Sherlock and Queen’s Gambit have been quite the talk recently. Crime solving quite appeals to me, and while chess is nowhere as interesting as shogi, I suppose it could be a challenge too.”

Kagami frowned when he read the messages. His father is way too strict, is he not? He supposed adding another person to use the account isn’t that much of a problem.

So he sent a quick “Ok” along with the account information, which was received by a formal reply of “I am deeply thankful for this, Kagami.”. He then added “I will share the account with Kuroko. Thank you again.”

Wow, Kagami thought. He even sorted himself. How nice.

viii. Parasite No. 6: Murasakibara Atsushi

According to Himuro, Murasakibara Atsushi was already using the account, just on Himuro’s devices and not his own. The purple-haired giant went to Himuro’s dorm room almost every night, and the two had made up a schedule of ‘who gets to watch what’.

“How domestic.” Kagami said sarcastically.

“Now, now, Taiga.” Himuro replied over the phone. “Anyway, as I was saying, the teachers in Yosen have set up a new and earlier curfew due to some affairs. Therefore, Atsushi hasn’t been able to watch the shows he likes as often as before, and it’s making him cranky.”

“Cranky? Just give him more snacks. That always works.”

“It didn’t work too well. Atsushi was watching Sugar Rush and Nailed It on Netflix. Apparently he misses watching people make desserts.”

“But that’s-” 

“Hold on a sec, Taiga.”

And the redhead heard some shuffling and some quiet whispers on the other side of the line. He was 120% sure that it was Murasakibara.

“Also, Atsushi told me to tell you that it’s good for his future.”

“What? Watching Netflix is good for his future? What’s he gonna do? A professional TV-watcher?”

“He said watching the shows can help him be a better pastry chef.”

He was left speechless.

“Come on , Taiga. He’s already watching it. Doesn’t hurt to give him the passcode.”

Kagami supposed that’s true.

ix. Parasite No. 9 & 10: Takao Kazunari & Midorima Shintarou

When the Shutoku light and shadow combo came crashing Kagami’s lunch with Kuroko at Maji Burger, it wasn’t a surprise to him that they were there to ask for access to the Netflix account, although   
most of the talking was done by Takao Kazunari. Midorima Shintarou sat there like an unimpressed statue.

At this point, Kagami didn’t even see the point of not giving it to them since most of his friends already have it. Therefore, to save himself a little trouble, he agreed when Takao started rambling about Shin-chan wanting to not feel left out or whatsoever, earning a pointed glare by the green-haired boy. 

As Kagami was giving out the account information, he was suddenly painfully aware that he was like some motel manager.

Giving people the ‘keys’ to their ‘rooms’. How ridiculous.

And now, he’s the same motel manager, but was caught between the crossfire of unhappy customers. Kuroko was just sitting there, enjoying the drama while sipping on his vanilla shake. 

“Takao, call Kise and tell him to share the account with Kagami.”

“That’s not necessary, Shin-chan. Just share it with either one of them.”

“... No.”

“Don’t be a prude. Go share it with Kise. I’ll take Kagami’s one.”

“No.”

“Ugh. Then what do you want?”

“... I suppose I can share it with Kagami. Good luck dealing with Kise’s noisy ass, Takao.”

Kagami rolled his eyes so hard that he swore he could see the back of his brain.

That really is a good match. Takao is just as loud as Kise, talking about the action movies he has watched. When Kagami opens his account, he finds numerous documentaries as well as Grey’s Anatomy. At least Midorima did not laugh at the movies he 'wishlist'ed. 

+Bonus

Kagami thinks he knows what's happening lately. He vaguely remembers the conditions for using premium when buying the Netflix account.

‘4 devices can be used at the same time!’, it had said in bright, cheery words.

Now, not so bright and cheery. When it was still a school day, it was fine. No problem at all. When it's a holiday, shit blows up. The probability for more than the 4 of them to use the account at the same time is about 0.0001, yet they always manage to collide together. His friends have been sending him messages to complain about not being able to use Netflix.

Kagami feels the need to make a schedule to assign time slots for people. Troublesome.


End file.
